For months now I’ve been wanting to write about the benefits of children growing up in the country, but as we all know, sometimes our lives are disrupted by pandemics. I had many other challenges that I could use as an excuse for my lack of writing but nothing sounds better than, “I was busy reacting to the world to write.” Actually, that doesn’t sound much better.
There was a meme going around for a while about all these amazing artists that were busy during their times of plague and how many wonderful works they produced despite being hampered by loneliness and the unknown. Shakespeare and Newton are two such icons.
I am not at their level. So here it goes.
By now we are several months into this global pandemic, no short of a catastrophe, at least in our nation. For some it has been a radical change, a departure from their day to day lives with isolation, loss of employment, perhaps even a loss of a loved one.
But most telling, is the toll it has placed on working families.
There are many families that after the partial reopening, have struggled to return to work with the schools closing and childcare being unavailable. It’s hard to raise kids when parks and playdates are restricted and parents are tense from lack of funds or from being sick.
There are some parents that have been able to work from home and having children bored in the house or apartment with no yard has made the happy home even less happier.
I never knew how grateful I would feel being away from the city until this happened.
Of course the virus has made its way out to the country, immunity has not been found yet. But we feel the tiniest bit safer, away from crowds, and outside in the fresh air whenever it is available to us.
So I wonder how much happier children can be, when they are afforded the freedom of the open air, caring for and raising animals.
In one of my groups, I asked families if living outside of the city has helped them with their children specifically and the overwhelming response has been positive.
Most felt the advantage as soon as they moved. They’ve shared that they know others that are struggling with their kids wanting to meet up with neighboring kids, and having to decline the requests to come visit.
Raising kids out in the country has many benefits, The fresh air, even if pungent with manure on occasion, is one of the main draws. The room to play and explore is another. Feeling secure that your kids are not getting on the nerves of your neighbors and being abducted by strangers is also comforting. That’s not to say that these things don’t happen out here in the country, they do. It’s harder though, to harass your neighbors when they are several acres away.
It’s a wonderful learning experience to see the miracle of life when chicks hatch, goats kid or piglets arrive on the farm. There’s a sense of responsibility and reverence when kids learn the stewardship of raising an animal dependent on them for safety, food and fresh water. Chores that they have to be nagged into are still responsibilities that the farm or ranch are dependent on. If the trash doesn’t go out in the suburbs, Mom and Dad are irritated to have an overflowing can in the garage another three days. If you don’t water the garden on a farm, your veggies that are crucial for the family could wither and be lost.
Of course, there are drawbacks to being raised entirely out in the country. The lack of diversity and the homogeneity of group thought that pervades conservative small towns can limit a youths understanding and empathy for others different from himself. Reading about troubled youth experiencing racial and social injustice does not have the same impact like watching it happen to your best friend. This is where decision making and public discourse is introduced.
Although family life and community are highlighted in small towns, divorce still happens. Alcoholism and unemployment is still a common occurrence. And there’s always the internet, where you can still find ways to connect to others around the world.
Almost every family that I spoke with is so much happier to be experiencing these troubled times away from the city, in partial isolation. Some indicated that their only inconvenience was not finding some items at the stores on occasion or having to go to the store more often to check if an item was available. There were perhaps only two respondents to my informal query that stated their kids were being impacted by the lack of social interaction, having missed out on structured playdates in the nearby towns. I’m sure Mom and Dad having a moment of peace translates the same out in the country as it does in the city.
My niece lives in the heart of a bustling metropolis with her husband and two very young boys. Their grandparents are very close to them and they visit on a daily basis. I’m an hour and a half away so it isn’t too often that they are able to drive out, but when they do it’s a wonderful and fun event for us all.
I’m lucky to be able to provide this chance for the boys to run and scream and play with a water hose, while not infuriating a neighbor or driving up a water bill. They were able to hold baby chicks in their hands and come back weeks later to see how large the meat chickens became during their absence. I’ve watched my youngest grand nephew toddle off down the driveway, secure in the fact there really was nowhere for him to go and no one was coming to snatch him. He came back of course and I watched him the entire time but he was left to his own devices to explore and gain a sense of self awareness on that dirt road.
Even at the young age of three my older of the two grand nephews knows and understands the importance of feeding the animals and treating them well. He loves to help out and is often reminding us that it’s time to feed the babies. His fascination with the overload of grasshoppers this summer is unending amusement to us all.
My greatest concern about writing this when I first queried my homesteading group didn’t come from someone taking issue with my perceived privilege. It also wasn’t from anyone admonishing my presumption that this way of life was better; but from the nagging reminder that most people were not in the financial position to provide this way of life to their families, and perhaps never would be. It made me feel arrogant and unfeeling to make that kind of statement, because that was not my intent.
This was not a sing-songy attempt to say we have it better than you do. We appreciate our lifestyle and would never return to the city but we are in no position to state that our life choices trump the ones others in the city have made. We are only filled with gratitude and hope, that somehow we ALL come out of this crisis united and with a better appreciation of what social distancing can do.
